I always thought giving birth to you was the hardest thing I would ever do. Whatever way you look at it, birth is no joke. After one “regular” birth, one planned cesarean, and one emergency cesarean, I can attest to the fact that it’s all tough. But, as hard as that was, it doesn’t compare to this job of mommyhood.
You see, once you little people arrive in this world, life turns completely upside-down. Nothing is ever the same. All that I thought I knew about love melted when they placed you in my arms. That heart of mine that I always protected was now wide open on the outside of my body for the world to see. Everything I ever thought I wanted or needed vanished when I first looked in your eyes. That person I was so intent on becoming became a distant memory as I became a mom. All of the goals and plans I had for myself suddenly seemed greatly insignificant as I realized I was responsible for leading and guiding this little life in my arms.
Then we brought you home- and now you’ll never leave. You may grow up and move on and even start a family of your own one day, but for us, you’re here forever. We will always be your home. You will always be my baby. We will forever think of you and worry over you and advise you and pray for you and love you- no matter how old you get to be. My life is forever intertwined with your life, and nothing will be able to change that.
Being your mom is hard. Right now the days are long and full. There is always a spill to clean, dishes to wash, clothes to fold, meals to cook, errands to run… Always a story to read, or a game to play, or a hug to give. The days are full of laughter and tears and fighting and love. Emotions run rampant in a house full of girls, and some days we all just want to scream! We dream and grow and imagine and learn… and never slow down. Some days I simply CAN. NOT. WAIT! for bedtime to come… but then I find myself crouched by your beds as you sleep, wondering what you’re dreaming, soaking up your peaceful beauty, and praying over you.
Oh, my little ones, there is no worry like that of a mother… I have to make tough decisions every day, choices that you don’t always like or agree with. Sometimes I have to be the bad guy, and I know you think I love it, but I really, really don’t. My heart literally aches for you when I see your tears, but it explodes inside when I see your eyes full of joy. There is so much I want to teach you, so much that I want you to understand, so much I want to give you. I want so badly to do this mom-thing right, but I make mistakes- EVERY. DAY. You see, I’m learning as we go, and maybe, just maybe, you are, too. Perhaps you are learning from my failures and mishaps, and perhaps one day you’ll be a better mom yourself because of them.
As we celebrate Mother’s Day this year, I want you to know that you are my favorite gift. Yes, being your mom is challenging. Yes, the days are long and wearisome. Yes, moms work hard! But being your mom is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. Being your mom grows me and bends me and challenges me… and ultimately deepens my relationship with the One who gave you to me. Being your mom has enabled me to see the world in a different light, and to love with a love that I never knew imaginable. Being your mom is an undeserved gift, and it is my greatest accomplishment. So, happy Mother’s Day, my loves… Thank you for the gift of being your mom.