Eleven years ago today my life got flipped upside down.

It wasn’t the birth of my third child, although that was merely days away and we didn’t know.

Rather, it was the moment I realized I had taken everything for granted… the moment I realized that life and good health are not guaranteed… the moment I realized nothing in my life would ever be the same again… the moment faith became more than just something we talked about, when Hope became our lifeline, and when prayers became true gut-wrenching cries.

It was a lifetime ago, but still so fresh in my memory… walking into the doctor’s office so nonchalantly, having no idea of the nightmare that was about to become reality. Driving myself to the hospital, in complete denial that anything was actually wrong. The doctor sitting at the foot of my bed with tears in her eyes, saying words I could not comprehend. I remember staring at that white blanket pulled across my big belly, feeling the tears pouring down my face, but unable to speak or move.

Hydrocephalus. Very little brain matter. No midline. We don’t know what happened. We can’t explain it. Very little chance of survival.

The days that followed were days I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I walked around in a fog, the doctor’s words drowning out the Voice of Truth. We were given worse-case scenarios, told to prepare for the inevitable, and I felt as if I had a ticking time bomb in my womb.

“Even if she survives, she’ll have no quality of life.”

Those words shook me to my core. They hurt my heart and made me question everything I thought I knew. They robbed me of peace. They wrecked me.

But God. I learned quickly that He doesn’t leave us in the pit of despair. He meets us there, wipes our tears, and holds us close. Even when it makes no sense, He’s working all things out in His perfect timing.

And here we are, eleven years later, still defying the odds and proving doctors wrong. Because that’s what our God does.

Life is not easy, and it’s far from perfect. It’s been eleven years of ups and downs, of crying and praying, of hoping and waiting. But it’s also been full of joy and love, full of beauty from ashes, full of celebrating the small things and giving thanks… and, dare I say, full of quality. God has a way of bringing a quality of life doctors can’t explain.

Every milestone met has been a celebration of the goodness of God. Every year we get to light the candles on the birthday cake is a testament to His victory. And while this week stirs up all the emotion in this mama’s heart as I remember the pain and all that was lost, it also serves as a reminder to live in gratitude, to appreciate every moment, and to keep fighting and believing that the best is yet to come.

I am certain that I will see the Lord’s goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:13-14)