We have a “normal” life. (Well, normal is all relative- it’s as normal as any family with three children). I get caught up in the day-to-day mommy routines. We learn, we play, we clean, we do it all again the next day. Sometimes it’s a bit mundane. Sometimes it’s exhausting. And sometimes God rocks my world with a reminder of how blessed I am to have “normal.”
Today was one such reminder. It was a busy day with lots of running around, and as I waited for an appointment I read about a family who lost their newborn twins- and my heart ached for them as I realized what could have been… But then my normal life rolled on. Later, I watched a mom entertain her non-verbal, developmentally delayed child during gymnastics and saw a glimpse of what might have been… But, again, my normal life rolled on.
I rushed through the evening, and paused to pick up my own two year old. I held her as she chattered nonstop, pointing out shapes and colors… And I began to weep. I remembered holding her close like that in a NICU room just days before her release, listening to a doctor tell me that we had a long road ahead, that we should expect developmental delays, and that she was concerned her vision may be impaired. We didn’t know what to expect, what the future would hold for our daughter.
But God gave us a miracle… A miracle that I get to wake up to each and every morning. She walks, she talks, she plays, she laughs… She experiences life in big ways and absorbs everything. She loves to sing and dance and make people smile. She beat the odds and has overcome obstacle after obstacle. And while I am ever so thankful, there is guilt. Why did we get this miracle? Why did our girl survive when others around her did not? Why does she thrive when so many others struggle? How do we relate to those who didn’t see the miracles we’ve seen? And how can we ever show enough gratitude?? Because no matter how much thanks we give, it could never, never be enough. We did nothing to deserve this gift of life, yet He gave anyway…
And there it is. The gift of grace. That’s what He did for all of us. None of us deserve the gift He offers, but He gives it anyway. Grace, mercy, miracles, love… They aren’t ours to understand, but praise God, they are ours to accept and experience. And we don’t have to do anything to earn it- just trust! Our great big God sent His Son to pay our penalty so that we could experience forgiveness for eternity- I don’t understand it. I don’t deserve it. But I am ever grateful for it.
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life. -John 3:16
But thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! -2 Corinthians 9:15