Back to “Abide”

2021 is just about done.

I don’t know about you, but I’m just about ready! It has been quite a year. If I could sum up this year with one word, I think I would go with “unexpected.” There has been a lot of unexpected in this past year.

But when I kicked off 2021, the Lord laid the word “abide” on my heart. I had in my mind what that was going to look like. It was going to be a year of slowing down and really resting in the presence of God, of being more intentional in my prayer life, of soaking up time with Him. I had it all mapped out on my timeline with my agenda, neat and tidy and perfectly planned out.


Then came a crazy cancer scare. Three surgeries back to back and complications with those. Failed treatments for my baby girl. God calling us to full time ministry and moving us cross-country. More health issues that have knocked me off my feet. New diagnoses for Harper. Homesickness and emotional heaviness and homeschooling and teenagers and middle school and senior year and college preparations.

That picture perfect abiding didn’t quite pan out like I thought.

But… does it ever?

In the midst of it all, I realize that there has been a deeper abiding taking place.

Abiding that involves enduring… withstanding… submitting.

Abiding that means remaining no matter what.

Abiding that is continuing steadfastly, knowing I’m in the shadow of the wings of the Almighty.

Because in the face of everything that tries to break us, we all have a choice to make. We can choose to crumble under the pressure, or to abide in the presence. And, while it took me all year to figure it out, this year of trial has been a process of the Lord molding and shaping and reaching and bringing me to new places of broken abiding.

Now let’s see what He has next 💜

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