Pray for it…

I struggled with the doctor’s report today. So much so that I didn’t want to share it, I didn’t want to talk to anyone, and I just wanted to be mad and sad and sit in a puddle of tears.

But tonight as Harper was getting tucked into bed, she once again spoke truth that I needed to hear.

She was telling her dad that something hurt- she gets regular random pains that we hear about but can’t fix, so her dad tried to distract her by joking around, and he dramatically asked, “Oh no, what are we going to do about it?!”

Harper was not in the mood for jokes or dramatics, so she responded in a very matter-of-fact manner: “Well, you’re supposed to pray for it!”

Oh, her unshakable faith. That’s her response to anything that ails her- as it should be mine. She wholeheartedly believes that asking God to make it better means it will be better.

And so tonight, I’m once again asking God to make it all better.

The report from the doctor today on the latest EEG was rough. Basically, the disease that steadily beats away at her brain is no longer in remission, but has come back with full force. She’s having continuous discharges, which prevents learning, causes regression and memory loss, contributes to behavioral issues, and disrupts sleep.

The concern is that once again her body has stopped responding to the medication that was working. She has a long history of this happening with anti-seizure meds. However, the hope is that maybe she just hit a growth spurt and needs a higher dose.

So, after discussing the side effects (namely, fatigue and severe stomach pain), the decision was made to max her out on this medication for the next two months if she can tolerate it and see if it makes any difference in seizure activity on the next EEG.

To further drive his point home, the doctor then informed me that at this point we are running short on options. She has an extensive list of failed medicines and treatments, and if they could find one more that she hasn’t rejected that would treat this particular disorder, we could add a third anti-seizure drug… but the chances of that happening and actually working are very, very low.

His next step would instead be looking into surgical options.

Hearing the doctor say they may want to cut my girl’s brain open again after being told the disease we thought was gone is instead back and as strong as ever was a little more than this mama’s heart could take today.

But then I heard her say, “Well, you’re supposed to pray for it!”

And so, instead of wallowing and crying and wondering why, I’m going to pray and believe He’ll make it better, just as my girl does 💜

Will you pray with me… for minimal medicine side effects, for no stomach pain, for seizure activity to cease, and for her cognitive function to be fully restored?

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

-Ephesians 3:20-21

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