It’s been a whirlwind of a couple of months. Ups and downs and round and rounds, and I’ve just been holding on… holding fast.
Just this past week I’ve had multiple doctor’s appointments of my own that haven’t ended exactly as I wanted. Then I came down with strep (I am too old for such nonsense). We had a road trip to Charleston to say “see ya” to my oldest, who is boarding a plane for a mission trip to Kenya this week (don’t ask me who told her she could be grown up and travel the world without me!). Harper got hooked up for an in-home EEG study (again). And my husband is taking off on military orders.
I’m holding on… holding fast.
In the midst of all of this, we’ve been juggling the usual appointments for Harps, medication woes, schoolwork challenges, and lack of sleep that is a regular part of our life. Everything has been a little more escalated lately as Harper’s medication dosages are so high right now- upset stomach and vomiting are occurring more and more (we are becoming pro-puke catchers in our sleep!), stomach pain 24/7, not sleeping soundly at any point of the night, weight loss, repetitive questions and phrases (over and over and over again), and mood swings and emotions that make a mama’s head spin.
Holding on… holding fast.
We are praying that this EEG yields results that will bring CHANGE. These medicines are not the best fit at this point… my girl needs to eat and keep food in her system, and she deserves a day without pain. And boy, would I love to see her joy restored!
Some days it just feels too easy to stop holding on, to just release my grip and slip into the frustration and pain and fear.
But I refuse.
I’ve recently been reading through the book of Joshua, and in chapter 23, Joshua gives his farewell address to Israel. He tells the people over and over again to remember. Remember all God has done. Remember all you have witnessed. Remember His promises. Remember He fights for you. Remember what God can do.
But not only does Joshua instruct them to remember. In Joshua 23:8, he tells them “…to hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have until now.”
Hold fast to Him… regardless of what is happening around you. Regardless of what the naysayers have to say. Regardless of circumstances that keep coming day after day. Regardless of how many times you slip. Regardless of how deep the water is around you. Hold fast.
When we hold fast to Him, we realized He is holding fast to us. We remain secure, unwavering, steady and sure. We stay the course, and our minds are not changed, because the One who has us changes not.
As we are forging ahead, we are holding fast. While the waters can be dark and swirling around us, and unknowns threaten to cloud our vision, there is peace and clarity and joy because what He has in store is always better. He is faithful. His promises are yes and amen. He is good. And He never lets go.
…Hold fast to the Lord your God, as you have until now.
Don’t give up… Keep holding fast, friends 💜