Home again, home again…

Yes, you read that correctly- we are back home!  Harper did great overnight in the hospital in spite of spiking a fever in the evening, so we were able to be discharged before lunch today.  The fever stumped us a bit- it could mean she just had a virus, which led to the seizure, or it could have been post-symptomal.  It’s kind of the whole “which came first, the chicken or the egg” thing.  But in any instance, the fever is gone and she’s home.

We’ve done a lot of sleeping and resting this afternoon- she is still exhausted and woozy from post-seizure effects plus the loads of medications.  We know it may take several days for her to fully recover from all of that, plus she will be adjusting once again to an increase in daily meds, so we will be taking things slow and easy.

These moments of calm after the storm are when this mama starts processing the emotional baggage of it all… The what-if’s, the why’s, the maybe’s, the what-now’s… This condition my daughter lives with is so very unpredictable.  We get comfortable just to be shaken up again.  She is so joyful, so vibrant, so full of life- and yet within hours I can be helplessly standing to the side watching her fight for her life.  It is heart-achingly difficult.

Yet I know this is a gift- a refining of my faith.  God doesn’t call us to live in safe waters.  He doesn’t command us to stay where we are comfortable.  His desire is to grow us, and this life of uncertainty stretches me into unchartered territory… At least for me.  But it isn’t unchartered for my God- when I can’t see what ahead, I have no choice but to lean on the arms that hold me up.  

For those of you who have been praying for our family, thank you so much.  In the throes of chaos and stress and worry, it’s such a blessing to know we have family in Christ going to the Father on our behalf.  Thank you to those who have sent messages and texts, who have called, and who have offered help in various ways… And a huge thank you to my parents (and grandparents and sister) for the help at the hospital yesterday.  We are incredibly fortunate to have such an amazing support system!  God is good…


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