It was one of those days. You know, the days in which you are annoyed by every little thing… the sound of your name being called yet again, the hundredth spill on the floor, the pile of laundry that keeps growing, the dirty dishes in the sink, the way someone looks at you, the rain that keeps falling, the bills that demand payment, the sound of someone breathing. And you’re so cranky that you’re annoyed by your own self.
Anyone able to relate? No? Just me?
Well, it was that kind of day for me. Nothing made me happy. I snapped at everyone for no reason at all. How dare someone offer to help me or ask me what’s wrong! I read my Bible, I exercised, I cooked and ate, I finished a couple of home projects, I went outside, I read a book, I listed to music… and I was still a massive grump. I longed for something different, but I didn’t know what it was I was longing for.
By the end of the day I was over myself, and I began to rant and rave to the Lord, attempting to justify all the reasons I was irritable.
And then I caught myself amused at my frustration as a thought crossed my mind:
“Aren’t these the things you once prayed for?”
A home of my own. A family of my own. The time and ability to tend to the needs of my family. All of my children home under one roof. Healthy, active children. A husband who is around and dedicated to his family. Time together.
The very things I had prayed for, the things I had longed for, had now become annoyances as my longings shifted. Instead of being content in the moment, grateful for the signs of answered prayers all around, and thankful for the time I had been given, I was longing for something else, something different.
In my typical fashion, I then began to berate myself for being discontented, for not being satisfied, for longing for more, and I had a revelation of sorts…
The problem isn’t the longing itself- it’s what I’m longing for.
So often I feel guilty for longing after anything. But the very God who created me instilled in me a longing for more, a longing for bigger, a longing for better…
A longing for HIM.
The truth is that nothing in this world will satisfy the longings of my heart. Nothing on earth will bring true contentment. My soul cannot be satisfied by earthly things. No matter what I have or don’t have, I will always long for more, because HE is more.
So when my soul is unsettled and the longings come, I need to press in. I need to dig deeper. I need to sit at the feet of Jesus and allow Him to fill the voids I think I have. He alone can fulfill the longings of my heart.
Let’s long for Him this week, friends 💜
Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory. Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.– Psalm 73:23-26