Homeschool lessons…

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted.  That’s because this whole homeschool thing has been kicking. my. behind.  No joke.  Trying to find balance between regular home/wife/mom duties, teaching a middle schooler, teaching a first grader, and keeping a wild-as-snot, overly-temperamental (but so adorable) two-year old entertained so said school work can get done has proven to be more of a challenge than I had anticipated.

That being said, I’ve done some learning and growing myself these past few weeks, and I’ve decided to post a list of lessons I’ve learned so far (mostly as a reminder to myself as the school year continues!)…

  1. Wake up early, but let them sleep.  Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am NOT a morning person.  I don’t talk, I don’t think, I don’t hear, I just don’t function until I have crawled out of bed, showered, and caffeinated.  So, with three early risers in the house, I have to make myself get up early and do those things so that I can love on them when they burst out of bed.  (And on the rare occasion that they are still sleeping past 7:00, I let them sleep!  If they are still snoring, chances are their bodies need the rest, so I’ll take those sacred moments and let them lie.)
  2. Organization is a must!  I have to be as prepared as I can be before our day gets going… because if they’re waiting for me to get my act together or gather lesson materials or whatever, trouble will come.  Messes will be made, fights will be started, and attention will be lost.  For our family, I have found that work drawers and assignment notebooks work great, and I keep sensory boxes prepared for the little one (and just embrace the mess that creates- the mess is worth the few minutes of peace!). 
  3. Be flexible and think outside the box- homeschool gives us great freedom!  We don’t have to sit inside at a desk all day.  We’ve used stuffed animals for history reenactments, Barbies and Legos for math problem solving, sidewalk chalk on the driveway for fact practice… whatever works!  And when all else fails, we take it outside- it’s amazing what a little sunshine and fresh air will do for everyone’s moods on a hard day!
  4. Home Ec is an opportunity for learning.  I caught myself stressing over the mess of the house while the kids were just waiting for me to get school started… so I put them to work!  It’s important for them to take responsibility around the house and learn to work as a family, and it’s amazing how much faster chore time goes when everyone pitches in.
  5. Don’t be afraid of technology.  I know we should limit screen time, and I’m not saying park your kid in front of the t.v. all day.  But there are lots of resources available that children enjoy- YouTube videos for science and history, documentaries and educational television, Internet research, making PowerPoint presentations, typing notes on the computer instead of writing, educational games on tablets, etc.
  6. Learn on the go!  We stay busy, and medical appointments are a regular part of our weeks, but school must go on!  So we learn wherever we go… Bookbags with books and practice sheets go in the car, flashcards in mom’s purse for waiting rooms, learning about healthy foods and budgets at the grocery store, and taking time to stop along the way to explore new places and enjoy nature.
  7. Encourage creativity.  My girls are artsy and hands-on, so nothing makes them happier than some craft supplies and time to use them.  They also love having opportunities for free play- and I have found that often their playtime incorporates things we’ve been learning about!  They act out scenes from books, pretend to be scientists, set up pretend stores and use their math skills to buy and sell, play school and actually teach each other… learning doesn’t stop during playtime.
  8. QUIET TIME!  This is a must in our house.  This mommy is an extreme introvert, meaning I desperately need quiet, alone time or I cannot function.  So that’s a regular part of our day, and everyone knows it.  During the afternoon we take at least one hour for everyone to retreat to their own rooms and chill.  For the older girls, that requires thirty minutes of reading (free reading or assigned reading, and we LOVE books on CD!).  Some days quiet time has to be enforced, while other days it continues well beyond an hour without anyone realizing it- and that’s okay.  But when it does end, we are all in a much better mood and are ready to interact and enjoy each other.
  9. Don’t try to do it all.  I was a classroom teacher for 9+ years before starting this homeschool journey.  It was ingrained in me that you use every second of the day for learning- no down time.  That meant covering every subject thoroughly and cramming in every possible worksheet and game and activity.  And in a classroom setting, that is helpful- it keeps students engaged and lessens chaos that occurs when many children have little to do.  But this is not a classroom!  This is a family, this is a home, this is life… and we can learn through many avenues.  We don’t have to pull out every textbook for every subject every day.  We don’t have to do every suggested lesson, or every activity or worksheet that accompanies every lesson.  It’s not always necessary, so don’t feel pressured to squeeze it all in every day.  Enjoy learning, enjoy your children, enjoy the journey.
  10. And I saved the best for last- Know when to call it a day.  In this house full of hard-heads, we can push each other to the brink of insanity in no time flat.  Some days, someone just doesn’t get a lesson.  Some days, someone just needs more attention or more downtime.  Some days we just have to put our plans on hold and take a break- and we have that opportunity.  For me, it comes down to remember our ultimate goal- what is it I want from my children?  What do I want them to learn more than anything?  What do I want to see in their lives?  Honestly, it isn’t math fact mastery or acing another test or reading the entire textbook.  It’s to see them love Jesus, to watch them grow as disciples, to become servants who love others the way Jesus loves.  The books and the studies are important in helping them become who He wants them to be, but those aren’t the main purpose.  So, some days we just have to pause, or totally stop, and learn to pray, to love, to serve, and to focus on the One who put us on this journey to start with.

So, friends, that’s a little bit of what I’ve learned and I hope to remember as we keep on trucking… What tips do you have?

A fork-in-the-carton kind of day…

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So, this was a clear indicator of the day I was having… eating Cookies and Cream directly from the carton- with a fork.  Because, like everything else in my house, the spoons were all dirty.  And it took way too much effort to wash one, or even grab a bowl, for that matter.  Some days just warrant being completely, unabashedly slovenly.

It really wasn’t any one big thing that made the day so rotten.  Satan often works that way, you know- no big, glaringly obvious issue.  He sneaks in with smaller, subtler tactics… The mountain of laundry that may never be conquered.  Snippy words exchanged with the spouse.  Grouchiness leading to less-than-ideal attitudes with the kids.  The bill that was forgotten.  The unexpected expense that busts the budget.  The two-year old that refuses to keep her diaper on (or use the potty) and the mess that follows.  Crayons on the walls.  Another glass of milk spilled.  A broken dish.  Middle school girl hormones and the drama that accompanies said hormones.  Expectations left unmet.  Lack of sleep.  Crying, whining, and more crying.

Gradually I began to listen to the words Satan was whispering in my ear.  I started to accept them, believing that I was failing as a wife, a mom, a teacher.  I beat myself up mentally and emotionally day after day, counting my mistakes and listing my failures.  I blamed myself for not doing enough and not being enough.  

But God wasn’t done with me yet.  In those moments of frustration and agony, He showed me beauty.  Beauty in chunky arms around my neck.  Beauty in crayon drawings made just for me.  Beauty in my half-grown girls’ hand reaching to take mine.  Beauty in sweet words of encouragement and admiration from my husband (and beauty in the take out he brought home for dinner!).

The Lord showed me grace as I poured out my heart.  He showed me that I’m not alone as sweet sisters in Christ prayed for me, offered words of wisdom, and reminded me that we all have those days.  He showed me that love- His love- still conquers all.  He showed me once again that every day holds blessings and the hope that does not disappoint.

Here’s to a better day tomorrow… The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.  -Lamentations 3:22-23

Sunday’s Scripture… Even if

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Today’s Scripture is from the book of Daniel…

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it, and He will rescue us from your hand, O king.  But even if He does not, we want you to know, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up.  -Daniel 3:17-18

This passage is spoken by Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in response to the king’s threats to toss them into the furnace.  They literally were facing the fire, lives on the line, and their faith remained unwaivering.  And what strikes me here is the phrase, “and even if He does not.”  They acknowledge that the God they serve is most certainly capable of rescuing them from their circumstances, but they also choose to accept that He may opt not to rescue them- and they’ll worship Him anyway.  I heard someone once refer to this as the “even-if” kind of faith… Trusting God’s plans even if it doesn’t look like what you expect or desire.

Y’all, I’m struggling with this kind of faith this week.  It’s been a hard two weeks in our family.  Two weeks ago today I wrote about my youngest having a small seizure, and that it was no big deal and to be expected.  That was easy to say when it was just one small one-minute seizure.  But Friday morning we woke up around 6:30 to find her in another seizure.  She happened to be in the bed with us, so her shaking woke us up- but we don’t know how long she had been seizing before we actually woke up.  We started timing it once we were aware of what was happening, and it lasted about four minutes and then stopped on its own so we did not have to administer her emergency medication… But it was scary.  We’ve now witnessed a few of these episodes with Harper, but they don’t get easier… It is a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking feeling to watch your spunky, full-of-life child be so vulnerable and helpless.

With these seizures we have also been seeing some other changes in Harper.  Her mood swings are intense- We have the typical terrible two’s, but it’s amplified by her lack of sleep, an incredible physical strength, and these new screaming spells that come on for no apparent reason and can last for a really long time (and no, they are not like toddler tantrums).  She’s been eating very little, naps about once a week, and is up and down through the night once she finally falls asleep.  Now that she has started having these seizures, she has been moved from the toddler bed in our room into our bed so that we can feel her when she starts seizing… Not an ideal sleeping situation, but it’s the best way we know how to get any rest at this point in the game.  We have a message in to her neurologist at Duke to update him on what we are seeing, and her next MRI is currently scheduled for September.

I have hesitated to tell people that we are dealing with this.  I’ve been so full of hope and we’ve seen such great strides forward for so long that it’s hard to admit things aren’t perfect.  I’m so grateful to God for bringing us this far that it feels wrong to say there’s a problem now.  I feel guilty for any kind of complaining about things being hard because they could be so much worse.  And I feel guilty for being afraid because my faith should be greater than that.  Plus, speaking it makes it more real, and I don’t want this to be a real thing for my daughter or our family.

But I am drained.  I am weary.  I am exhausted.  And it isn’t just physically.  This new way of living is mentally and emotionally wearing, and the worry is weighing heavy on this mommy’s heart.  I know all of the verses about not worrying, I know where my hope lies, I know Who ultimately is in control, I know my help and my strength comes from the Lord… My head knows the Bible answers, but my heart is struggling with the “even-if” faith.

We’ve seen miracles happen.  We’ve been granted an incredible blessing in Harper.  I don’t for a minute discredit all the that Lord has done for us… We are miles away from where we were two years ago.  And I know He has a plan.  But in these moments, I’m a little bit scared of what His plan may entail.  I know He can totally heal our girl- but I also know that His plans are not our plans and I have to be willing to trust Him and praise Him “even if He does not.”  Because regardless of what happens, He is still God and He is still good… even if.

he is still good

Half a lifetime and more to go…

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I’ve officially been with this guy for half of my life.  Little did we know 17 years ago when we spent our first 4th of July together that we would be tied together for life.  We were two kids having fun and enjoying life, with no idea where life would take us, or even that it would take us together.  But God had plans in store, even back then.

In seventeen years we’ve done a lot of life together.  We’ve had fun and traveled and celebrated.  We’ve also been low, facing hurts and heartbreaks and disappointments.  We’ve faced circumstances that Satan intended to destroy us.  We’ve learned what grace and mercy and redemption look like.  We’ve learned that hope is a Person, and that He does not disappoint.  We’ve learned to laugh, to forgive, to admit our shortcomings, to be real, and to keep on trying.  We’ve learned that love is a choice, and not always an easy one.  

Marriage is a war, one we have to wage every day.  You see, the enemy doesn’t want our marriages to thrive.  He wants our families to fall apart.  So we have to fight for it every day.  We have to wake up in the morning ready for battle.  We have to fight selfishness, temptation, lust, and greed.  We have to take our thoughts captive and remember to put the other first.  We have pray for each other and pray together.  We need to serve each other and serve together.  We need to choose to love each other, and love others together.  We’re a team, held together by Christ, and we need to help each other stay focused on that.  

These past seventeen years have been full.  They’ve been busy.  They haven’t been easy.  But God has used them for good, and there’s no one else I’d rather do this life with!

When quiet time’s not so quiet

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I’m typing this on my phone, in the dark, lying in bed with a dozing toddler on my chest.  Why am I telling you this?  So you know that I get it- that this post is coming from a mom who has full hands and full days and ends up feeling empty by the time night falls.

Mommyhood is tough.  The days are long, and the nights are often longer.  There’s a lot draining you, and it can be hard to find the time (and energy) to get filled back up again.  I don’t know about you, but I look at these people who have these long times of prayer and devotion at sunrise and who sit down and do this elaborate Bible journaling, and I feel like a failure!  If I’m up to see the sunrise, it’s because a little person needs me.  They need me early in the morning, they need me later in the morning, they need me in the afternoon, and they need me in the dark… There is very little alone time.  And I don’t mind that- but it makes “quiet time” with God a bit more challenging.  So how do moms find time for the Word?  Here are some ideas that have worked in different seasons in our house:

1. Put Scripture everywhere.  We have wall art Bible verses.  I have verses on notecards taped on the bathroom mirrors and inside my kitchen cabinets.  They’re pinned on the message board and stuck on the fridge.  There are even verses hidden in my closet.  I’m in my house all the time, so I need constant reminders that He is there with me.

2. Leave your Bible open on the counter or table… Somewhere that you pass by frequently through the day.  Just seeing God’s word there brings me encouragement in the midst of chaos, and it makes it easy to read a few verses as I’m passing through or grab to use for instruction and discipline with my kiddos during the day.  

3. Keep a Bible or devotion book in your car.  Easy access if you’re waiting for an appointment or stuck in traffic or if the baby falls asleep and you don’t want to risk opening the car door and waking her up!

4. Get a good Bible app on your phone.  Most of us are quick to grab our phones during the day and night… It’s just too convenient.  So grab it and look at the Word before you skim social media.

5. Speaking of social media… There’s a lot of junk out there.  But there’s also a lot of good stuff!  Fill your feeds with positive- follow Christian authors, bloggers, musicians.  Join Bible study groups or make a pact with friends to post Scripture and words of encouragement on a regular basis.  It’s awesome to log on and see a page full of Godly words!

6. Sign up for email devotions- again, an easy way to use technology for good.  We all check our email throughout the day, so get some emails delivered that will bring your focus back to God.

7. Audio Bibles or devotions or podcasts or worship songs … Listen while you’re cooking or doing laundry or running errands or rocking the baby.  I’ve spent many a night praising Jesus through song in my rocking chair!

8. Include the kids!  If you’re trying to sit down and read your Bible and journal, encourage your kids to do the same.  They learn by watching you… So give them a notebook and a Bible and let them be a part.  If they aren’t old enough to read yet, read it to them!  Our children love to be with us, so what better way to spend time with them than being in the Word together?

9. Family worship… Make a point of sitting down together as a family for a time of worship and Bible study and prayer.  Show your children that it’s a priority.  Again, they learn by watching us and thrive on time spent together.

10. Don’t give up.  It’s so easy to beat ourselves up over all the missed opportunities or lack of opportunities. No one has this all figured out.  Don’t get caught up in the comparison game.  You have to do what works for your family in your season of life- it looks different for everyone!  Some days are messier than others- but He’s still there with you in those messy days.  

What are some ways you find time for the Word?  I’m always looking for new ideas!

This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.  -Joshua 1:8

With my whole heart I seek you; let me not wander from your commandments! I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.  -Psalm 119:10-11
My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart. For they are life to those who find them, and healing to all their flesh.  -Proverbs 4:20-22

Choosing to trust…

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  This post today is for me.  Because there are days when fear creeps in, when anxiety seizes my soul, when my heart just feels troubled… And these are the days that I have to make a concerted effort to trust.

Trust doesn’t come naturally.  I’ve had people talk about what faith we have- and I’m shocked.  Surprised that anyone would think that.  Because I am a messy human with messy human instincts and some days I just.  Don’t.  Know.  Trusting doesn’t make sense and doesn’t come easy and scares me to death.  

By now, most of you reading this blog know all about my Harper.  And you know that after a year of no complications she decided to stir things up and have a massive, life-threatening seizure several months ago, which earned her new medications and a bed in mom and dad’s room.  It was a reminder that her condition is unpredictable, and that while we trust God’s plans for her, things can be uncertain.  Well, aside from some sleeping issues and mood swings, she has recovered well from that episode and we have slowly loosened the reigns a little and have felt more confident that she’s back to normal.

But yesterday morning, in the wee hours before daylight, we awoke to her vomiting.  She did it three times, and seized on the third.  It was a small seizure, only about a minute long, and she was in my arms when it happened, so it really wasn’t cause for alarm.  She went to sleep afterwards, and was completely back to normal when she awoke later.

So, medically speaking, I know this is no need for concern.  Lots of people deal with seizures every day and this one was not bad at all.  Honestly, episodes like that are almost expected every so often given the way her brain looks.  They actually expect much worse, so we are blessed if this is all we have to handle.  But, it happened, and it has this mama back on high-alert… Because how would that have panned out had I not been right there when it happened?  I know not to play the “what-if” game, but I now have this drive to be even more vigilant once again in watching and trying to protect her.

However, I have to choose to trust.  I can’t protect any of my children from everything.  Ultimately they aren’t even mine- they’re His, and I have to believe in the promises of the One who can protect them, the One who formed them and designed them and numbered their days.  When Satan tries to fill my mind with fear and doubts and “what-ifs,” I have to take those thoughts captive and instead fill up with the Good News of the One who loves my babies even more than I do.  Sometimes trust is a choice, something we have to work at… And today my prayer is that I keep making that choice.  

When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?  -Psalm 56:3-4

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.  -I John 4:18

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord God is an everlasting rock.  -Isaiah 26:3-4

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  -Philippians 4:6-7

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.  -John 14:27

Thursday’s thanks…

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give_thanksIt’s Thursday… so time to pause and list what we’re thankful for this week.  My goal each week is to jot down the first ten things that come to mind.  Here it goes:

1. Thai food with my love
2. Diving into God’s word with a group of women
3. A husband that takes care of me when I’m feeling rough
4. Getting my hands on a good book recommended by a good friend
5. Watching my big girls use their imaginations and play together
6. Time spent with other moms on the same journey
7. Girls that choose to sit down with books on a hot day
8. Crockpot meals
9. A family goal set that everyone is excited to work for
10. The freedom of summer!

What’s on your list this week?  I’d love to hear a few of your blessings!

What love really is

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  There’s this misconception that love is this butterfly-in-your-stomach feeling that makes you happy and googly-eyed.  It’s all fairy-tales and happily-ever-after… But it’s not real.  Nope, life doesn’t work that way, but then when things don’t turn out like a Cinderella story we think that we’ve missed the boat, that something isn’t right, or that we should bow out and look for sunshine and rainbows.  

No, real love isn’t glamorous.  But there’s something beautiful in commitment and dedication, in raising a family and doing life together.  Easy? Nope.  Always happy?  Negative.  Worth it?  Absolutely.  Because real love is a love that lasts.  It’s a love that can find laughter in the tears, that can overcome the struggle, that can outlast physical beauty, that will stand strong when all else fades away.  It’s love designed by God.  Here’s a peek at what love looks like in our home…

Love is–

  • Cleaning puke together at two in the morning
  • Holding hands in bed over the kid asleep between you
  • Unloading the dishwasher every morning so she doesn’t have to
  • Accepting each other in spite of your flaws
  • Making sure there’s always toilet paper on the roll
  • Realizing a mistake isn’t worth losing a lifetime together
  • Getting a sitter so you can grocery shop together on a Friday night
  • Putting a fight on hold so you can make the most of your time alone
  • Saving the last Mt. Dew for her 
  • Swallowing your pride and admitting you were wrong
  • Buying his favorite snacks at the store 
  • Forgiving, even when it hurts
  • Praying over a child together
  • Riding in silence side by side to the hospital with no need for small talk or niceities 
  • Being so, so mad, but realizing that there isn’t anyone else you want to text about your day
  • Being weird and goofy and nerdy- together 
  • Having a conversation with only facial expressions
  • Giving her your favorite tshirt to sleep in
  • Packing his lunch every morning so that he doesn’t get hungry at work
  • Teamwork 
  • Honoring your commitments
  • Accepting that her commitments are his commitments and his commitments are her commitments- in it all together
  • Letting her sleep on the best pillow
  • Fixing his plate at dinner each night 
  • Supporting each other’s dreams and ambitions- no matter how wild and crazy they may seem
  • Watching a sappy chick flick for her, or a loud action movie for him- and actually watching it
  • Having each other’s backs- no matter what
  • Compromising 
  • Taking the trash out for her every day
  • Eating cookies together without judgment after the kids are in bed 
  • Organizing his dresser, one more time
  • Putting the other first, even when you would rather not
  • Realizing your wants are their wants and their dreams are your dreams
  • It’s not giving up, not quitting… Fighting daily and refusing to let Satan win (because, let’s face it, he would love nothing more than to destroy the families joined together by God!)
  • A choice, one made every day… A decision that doesn’t react on emotion, that sacrifices when necessary, that’s made even when you don’t really feel like it 

People are mean… But God

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People are mean… But God is kind.
…But You are a God of forgiveness, Gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness; And You did not forsake them.  -Nehemiah 9:17

People are selfish… But God is self-sacrificing.
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.  -John 3:16

People are unjust… But God is righteous.
The Lord is righteous in all His ways and faithful in all He does.  -Psalm 145:17

People disappoint… But God never fails.
Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave nor forsake you.  -Deuteronomy 31:6

People knock you down… But God picks you up.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.  He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.  Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.  -Psalm 40:2-3

People make mistakes… But God is perfect.
He is the Rock, his works are perfect, and all his ways are just.  A faithful God who does no wrong, upright and just is he.  -Deuteronomy 32:4

People are sinful… But God is holy.
But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do; for it is written, “Be holy, because I am holy.”  -I Peter 1:15-16

People slip… But God is steadfast.
Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  -Lamentations 3:22-23

People lie and deceive… But God is truth.
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  -John 14:6

People hurt… But God heals the brokenhearted.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.  -Psalm 147:3

People break… But God restores.
And the God of all grace, who called you according to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.  -I Peter 5:10

People change… But God remains the same.
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.  -Hebrews 13:8

People tear you down… But God builds you up.
But you are a shield around me, O Lord; you bestow glory on me and lift up my head.  -Psalm 3:3

People destroy… But God protects.
Surely He will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.  He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.  -Psalm 91:3-4

People are unforgiving… But God is merciful.
But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit… -Titus 3:4-5

People reject… But God never turns you away.
All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away.  -John 6:37

People put you in the pit… But God rescues.
“Because he loves me,” says the Lord, “I will rescue him.  I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.  He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.  With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation.”  -Psalm 91:14-16